Our Creeper Neighbors: Part 1

August 17 6 comments | tags: offline life · FAVICON Contest

Besides getting attacked by the deposit machine at Bank Of America and almost losing my hand, things have been running smoothly around here. You know when Ali isn’t lying about going to his friends house then running off into a haunted asylum (he really did this, AND he showed Lisa pictures of it), when Hassan isn’t hugging me every chance he gets and when my Mom isn’t making the same arabic food despite the fact that she could build another house with all the cooking/recipe books she has, yup, things here are still smooth.

There is one issue that has been bothering me though. I’m not even gonna lie and say I like my neighbors and they’re good people because deep down in my non-existent heart I know they are just a bunch of slimeballs. None of these old saggy pants people EVER wanna utilize their damn driveway. Our block is disgusting! People get into arguments just figuring out where to go when there are two cars on the same street. Anyway I’m not here to talk about that just: something better. We had some new neighbors come in about a few months ago and at first my Mom was trying to be polite but you can only be so nice before people think they’re best friends with you.

To start things off the husband came and started knocking on our windows at like 8 in the morning. I was asleep in bed thinking, “who is that idiot knocking on our door?”. The average american would stop knocking after 1 1/2 knocks and some dirty looks from across the street on why-that-guy-isnt-leaving-the-house. I swear to you he kept knocking for like 10 minutes and then he left. In the morning I found out that he actually stopped by and knocked on our whole damn house just to give us some pita bread.

I wish I coulda been like UHH BUDDY WE’RE LEBANESE I THINK WE WOULD HAVE A CRAPLOAD OF PITA BREAD IF NOT HANGING FROM THE WINDOWS THEN STOWED AWAY IN A FREEZER IN A PITA BREAD SHRINE.

Pretty much what I’m trying to say is that these neighbors are creepalicious and they must be stopped. Sure they wanna be our friends, who the hell wouldn’t be when the rest of the block is filled with a bunch of tards. I’d wanna be my damn friend too.

part 2 of this coming soon. Where the daughter decides to become my best friend and she’s only 7 years old. Trust me, this gets better as it goes.

Personal Shopping

August 15 9 comments | tags: picture blog · FAVICON Contest

Went shopping for Mel today! Got her some cute things :) Check them out.

Bow ring from Forever 21.

Boots by American Eagle and top from Forever 21.

A cute white cardigan with a floral garden top (both from H&M).

A dark grey cardigan from H&M.

Well, I have 30 minutes til I eat and I’m actually pretty beat up today for some reason. OH and boy do I have a huge rant blog coming up next. YOU WILL NOT BELIEVEEE what has been happening with my neighbors. They want me to hang out with a 7 year old? Honestly, it needs to stop. Will elaborate later.

Jess: Personal Shopper

August 15 3 comments | tags: offline life · FAVICON Contest

Mel is giving me money to basically go and buy stuff for her. Apparently she doesn’t have time to do this so she is letting me do this daunting task for the simple reason NOT being that she doesn’t have time, but because she wears all my clothes anyway so she might as well let me pick them out for her.

I’m going to be posting some pictures of the stuff I buy for Mel because well, they’re things I can put up as pictures and who doesn’t like seeing those? I might model really badly in some but lemme just tell you all this isn’t gonna be like a page from Victoria’s Secret ok. It’s gonna be like a girl tryin to put together something that doesn’t look like she bought it from a yard sale.

OH and I saw Law Abiding Citizen yesterday night. By myself. Probably never watching a thriller movie alone EVER AGAIN. SERIOUSLY why would I do that to myself? Hmmm I DONT KNOW maybe because I act like I can just put the headphones 2 ft away from me when there’s a scene of a guy getting his leg sawed off and just kinda ignore it but NO I CAN STILL SEE THE IMAGE ON THE TV. And the sound is really powerful so 2 ft away I can still hear the RRRRRRRRR sound. Damn :( I hate gore. EW EW EW EW EWWWW.

My tactics always fail me.
Anyway, off to go shop and waste some time til I eat at 8:56 PM. Woooo!! Expect a picture blog later.