This Is How I Celebrate Eid

posted August 21

I’m a few days late, but I’m lucky to have wrote about this in the same month that it was still relevant. Not to brag or anything but I’ve been pretty busy these days (working, working working), I feel like Obama on call minus the kissing baby foreheads and golfing…because golf is boring. I wouldn’t mind riding that golf cart around though, does anyone know much they pay? What degree do I need with that? I’ll have to google this afterwards, I could totally use a career change.

Anyways, after Ramadan we have a holiday called “Eid”, which I like to think of as the equivalent of Christmas. When we were younger my parents would take us out to mosques to collect candy and go visit family, GET MONEYY!!!! But now, because we’re older, we literally do nothing. I think all the parents got together collectively behind a Walmart and were like “Yeah, let’s just not do anything this year.” I mean COME ON as a Muslim we have like one freakin’ holiday and we can’t even celebrate it!? IT’S ONE!!!! In America they MAKE UP holidays! “National Best Friends Day” “Sweetest Day” “Bullies Day” “Mother’s cousin’s friend’s daughter’s cat Day”

And now the only money I get is the money I make from my job, which I use to pay my bills. You like that vicious cycle? I’m not even going to try to defend it. It’s kind of like “the OJ SIMPSON in the room”. Everyone knows.

After breaking fast, we went to my equivalent of Christmas which is Tim Hortons, where I ordered a sprinkled donut and got an ice cap with whipped cream. Cause nothing says EID MUBARAK!!! louder than a donut from a canadian coffee chain. Oh man, I know, should I be flaunting all this online? I’m such a snob. My life is too extravagant, I wouldn’t want anyone to think I’m spoiled.

Upon arrival, we sat outside in our backyard and I watched my Mom and Natster (Natalie) smoke argeeli (hookah). I’m not a smoker, I prefer to die from other causes, like saving a life, getting run over by a glittering unicorn…kidnapped by a bunch of abercrombie models…not tabbaco going through my tiny fragile body, haha. I am only like, 100 pounds. There is no room in my body for smoke. Natalie dropped some seeds after the computer she brought out to listen to boater Arabic music (Wael Kfoury?! The classics).

That’s how I spent my Eid. The old fashioned way: not celebrating it at all.

I play games on my iphone to escape time, and reality. The game I’m playing is really good but a bit confusing in terms of their storyline…it’s about templars and hashashins or something..like damn people I’m playing a game this isn’t supposed to be a history lesson. It’s called Broken Sword. I’m only halfway through I think, try it out and tell me what you think.

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