Hi all! How have you guys been? I read some comments from the last blog…I don’t know why you all feel that way…especially since I’ve lost hope in myself. I’m surprised you guys didn’t just let me shut this thing down. It feels nice though.
Photography has been time consuming, but it makes me really happy. It’s one of the few things that I can rely on as a gateway to both payin’ them bills and being able to use my artistic skills/PHOTOSHOP~ People always compliment me on it. When I was doing graphic design, it never got me anywhere. But I find myself important in this field. People are coming to me for engagements, senior photos, bridal parties, events, etc. It’s crazy! I enjoy being able to share special moments in peoples lives…everyone having fun, meeting new people, FOOD! :D
Lately I haven’t been blogging, updating, or doing much of anything. I really have the best excuse, but I’m not even going down that road. I always say I’m going to bring the site back, but whenever I have any free time, damn…I just want to sit and stare.
Every single day I find myself having to do 5,000 different things and go to a million different places. So when I do get home and have an hour before my eyes begin to shut, I figure that the best thing to do is just relax and watch a TV show or play a videogame. I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that I would have to go home and do more work, which…would be working on the site. It’s only work because I haven’t figured out the kinks of coding. If I was better at that, it would be fun. And then it wouldn’t be work.
I had a lot of plans this summer, of course none of them happened. My number one goal this year was to go to Lebanon. Visit my family, finally get some time alone, relax, have fun…see everything. In the midst of everything, I find myself in the position to go, but….with a catch.
I was offered to do a wedding in September. Yes! Photograph a wedding. My first one. I’m very excited and honored, but you see, I am the type of person who has to rise to the occasion. I might not get the opportunity to do another wedding, so I have to make my first time absolutely perfect with my photos. If they come out great, I know I can get a lot of business! But right now, my camera and equipment isn’t up to par….at least, not for my own standards. Which are unnaturally high
__ Might explain why I’m still single, HA HA. No.
I figure I have to upgrade my tools. So, I can either choose between going on vacation, or buying a new camera (specially the Canon 5d, right now I have the 60d). I don’t have enough money to do both, so it’s one of those things I must decide wisely on. My current camera isn’t bad at all, but the 5d is a lot better. It will really make a huge difference in the end photos, I know this for sure.
A lot of my friends say get the camera!, because I can excel in my business and go on vacation anytime. But you see, what they don’t know is that I really, REALLY need a break. I’ve been working NON STOP everyday for almost a full year. Maybe that’s not a lot to you, but I’m only 22 and I’ve broken down from stress and suffered from temporary streaks of depression because of it. It’s not even that I want to go out and party and shop and blow my money when I go there, I just want to be alone.
I would love to just wake up in another country where I can get up and no one will be home and I can do whatever the hell I want and no one is there to ask me questions or bug me. I just want to be able to not feel anxiety for just a day or worry about bills and payments and money….just for a little while. I’ll obviously be paying for this trip as I do with everything else in my life (aside from housing I’m entirely independent) so it’s kind of like a big personal decision. I really need to sit and think about it.
If it was your decision, what would you do? And why?